there is a line between lines

ha pasado mucho tiempo... nunca me he sentido fuerte, y segura al escribir en otro idioma. no porque no lo domine, sino simplemente porque no siento que exprese lo mismo... pero ahora salieron líneas de mi mente...
there are some line between your lines ana...
the lines are blue, with sorrow, wispers, sad moments...
most of the time those are not your lines.... are the lines of desperation, the lines of anger...
---- so yeah those are my lines right??? I've been living for so many years in two dimensions... they can't just fade away!
---- no idea, there is no time to think about that, neither about a dog or food or drinks or anyting... sometimes you forget to think about yourself and there is again that weird thinking on your mind!
---- I know, we are not that good, we are becoming lazy and irresponsable! we are something else for a moment, a period of time... October! that's what it is!
---- non sense! incoherent!!! whatever you say is not you, is that stupid thing that you have on your brain!!! Don't blame it!
-- I just hate interruptions! I have a moment where my brain dissfocuss and becomes something else without sense, everything becomes blury and then my words " no longer" ....
---- no longer what?
---- no longer! I have no longer life, time, hopes, help, toughts, nothing... no longer nothing.... I just get angry and there are no words inside me... only pictures... images of nothing else...
work, money, situation, together, each other, communication, help, envirnoment, park, stay, go, leave yourself, recognize, love, remember, influence, trauma, confidence, trust.... loads of words with heavy weight....
whatever i said have no meaning for anyone else, i'm a boring person....
I know.... I'm a boring, stupid rare and crazy person